Monday, November 22, 2010

0135: Mencari kekuatan diri...

Bulan November ini memang sangat manguji kekuatan yang aku ada....bermula dari awal November hingga kini...i am in deep pain...mencari kekuatan diri yang makin hilang...tiada tangisan...My mak, abah, keluarga dan my luv now are really worried about me...hmmmm...

Hari ni aku dah bagitau pada mak n abah...walau pada mulanya aku tak ingin itu terjadi...namun a few incidents and the pain...is even worst than the first one...My Hachi keep pushing me to bagitau my abah n mak...

- You must let them know, they must know about it. How long u wants to keep this pain alone.?

- But they will worried about me. I am wooried! My abah n mak x berapa sihat. When see them worried it hurts me. I've been there before. SIGH...

-I know that sayang, but please. At least give them chance to do what they should do. Your mum pray is important for u. I cant do that for you. Please yanggg, call them when u feel better a bit...

His voice is real slow...not his fault, he also dunno how to help me...and me myself really dunno where to start again. The whole day i am just sleeping with the helps of painkillers. But it feels nothing on me. The pain is really hurts. The Doctors keep giving me the fever prescriptions while i am not. Hmmm... just wait if the pain still, i will need to do blood test...let see how after this....

At last late evening today...i told my mak n abah. They really surprised!. Can hear my abah voice turns very slow. He is worried. So do my mak. They call to my abang ngah to come n visit me. Owhhhh...everyone kelam kabut already. Ya Allah...aku hanya ingin sedikit kekuatan. My Hachi keeps calling n sms me. I look "OK" outside, inside?...the pain is really killing me. Mak tanya kot2 i nangis...but no...i did not cry...entahlah....memang sakit...lebih sakit bila kita tidak pernah tahu apa niatnya. Lebih sakit bila sakit ini ubatnya bukanlah sesuatu yang mudah...Dulu 7 tahun lebih baru aku baik...yang baru ini?...entahlah...Hanya DIA Yang Maha Mengetahui. Aku tak menyesal diuji, kerana DIA tahu aku mampu biarpun kekuatan itu makin kurang.

Innalillah hi wainnailaihirojiun....Dari Dia datangnya semua ini kepada DIA juga kuminta semua ini kembali...Amin Yarabbalamin....

[ Ingin sekali menyambung cerita Aara Yara, maaf..terlalu penat dengan kerja dan kesihatan diri. My Hachi, terima kasih sayang...buat semua maaf kerana terpaksa buat semua orang risau lagi...Moga matahari esok masih ada untukku...]

2 comments:

azieazah said...

Setiap penyakit ada ubatnya.
Yang penting semangat kena kuat, dan doa jangan putus...

i am Naa... said...

terima kasih akak...