091: Selamat datang SEPTEMBER...

Maafkan posting yang agak lewat ini...dah separuh hari baru nak ucap selamat datang...alahaiiii....Hari ini hari ke3 anak Tok Mad balik kejer...2 hari struggle...!! not because of work but with my health yang xleh nak explain cam ner....tinggalkan issue tu dulu...

Semalam my HACHI called me...cian dia, worried lagi...doakan i'll be fine...ini semua dugaan kan?...dah tepon mak n abah...Alhamdulillah diorang sihat....hati rasa nak menangis...my abah panggey Nadhia dengan nama "Ana". That my nama manja by them....and i am crying tanpa sebab...sensitip sangat lately...rindu zaman kanak2...time nakal....time degil...time dapat manja2 dengan abah...Naa rindu abah sebenarnya...another 2 days to go to his birthday...and another 5 days to my birthday....semoga birthday kali ini akan membawa kebahagiaan dan ketenangan untukku....banyak sungguh hikmah yang dikurnia Allah padaku dalam Ramadhan ini...syukur...Terima kasih Ya Allah...kurniakan kasih ini pada ku...

Bulan SEPTEMBER ni banyak nostalgia....paling best i'll be balik kampung bulan nie...long leave...can't wait for that...my birthday before raya...dalam Ramadhan terakhir...semoga murah rezeki dan pintu kurnia DIA akan terbuka untukku...Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin...banyak betul permintaan hati nie aihhh....

Jap lagi kene kuar awal...i have training to attend...hope i can focus la ekk...risau gak...sebab takut i cepat letih...kejer dah la banyak betul lately...malam ni nak kene buat report pulak....alahaiiii.....go Naa...SEPTEMBER is here...it is ur month....go treasure the beauty of it!

[@ KAKU...masih adakah kesempatan untukku?...Dalam risau ada tenang...sungguh aku tak mampu mentafsir erti perasaan saat ini...]

090: BeBel MeRdEka....

Hari terakhir AUGUST...esok SEPTEMBER dah mai....i luv SEPTEMBER sebab it is my birthday month..then most of my luv one are in september gak....semoga SEPTEMBER ini bawa bahagia pada semua.....Amin Ya Rabbal Alamin....

Semalam is my first day at work after long rest...a bit blurrrr...owhhh...email flooded...ok owwww...peningnya cheq...xder apa yang urgent but customer a bit sarcastic...what to do? call flooded like hell semalam..everyone tired...ramai EL n MC...and cm is also unreasonable...all those simple thing also dunno to do...erkkk..claimed to be that they are in DEVELOPED COUNTRY!...erk...mentality?...hahaahhahahaahhah...sendiri mau ingat la...memang menguji kesabaran tahap dewa dah...sejak aku masuk burung antu shift nie aku dah jadi banyak penyabar...mesti semua mgr relax jer....budak Naa nie tak cari pasal dgn cm...hahahahahahahaha...aman dunia....kekekekeekekke....

Semalam bukak posa best...because i have kak mimi....depa pulun udg galah yang cheq tolong tapaukan....bila la kakak aku ni nak kuruih...semangat dia pulun semlm....oopppss...mampuih dia bengang..kekekekekkeke..terKUTUK lak...ptg nie dunno what to tapau...kuih n murtabak la....n i nak ikan bakaq....mabeles tue....amboiii dia punya tingin...alahai macam2 dalam paler nie...raya nanti dok pikir nak mintak my kakak buat ketupat for me...lemang my abang ipaq nak buat....hope dapat la merasa bakaq lemang...dodol...ermmm..entah....penat oooo...mkn memang la best tapi bab kacau tu mau kelepet jadiknya....owhhhhh tidak!!!!!...

Baju raya tak beli lagi...tak berkenan lak...so tgk la mood cheq nanti...kalau tak cheq pakai jer baju tahun lepas....sebab cheq ni bukannya rajin pakai baju kurung pun...hahahahhahahaha...raya nie amik cuti panjang...nak betul2 rest and spend masa with my family....nak mkn my faveret...nak bodek mak masak pajeri terung...best nyaaaaaaa.....

Owh...semalam bukak my email...still alots of email that is cced to ME?...what is ur intention?...act like nothing happen...hebat betul laki orang nie...paling kelakar tanya K Mimi about me...with the ayat.."Tak nak jawab tak per..". Berhentilah!...u keep hurts others for what?..apa lagi u nak?..tak cukup lagi bini u kat umah?..anak kat umah tu?...tak kesian ka kat bini u?..u kata u sayang dia...then u bgtau la kat dia apa u nak...not finding other women for ur whatever reason...and u tak rasa pun bersalah on me...owhhh i bukan bini dia...so lyn me like i am toy or sampah jer...tapi tak pulak malu lyn i like girlfren in opis...ur bini mintak i jgn ctc u no matter what....but u urself seems that u dont want me to leave...WTH?...what u are trying to do...by put me in every loop of ur email...by telling my kakak that no one want to talk to u....i see the email...cukupla atas fitnah yang u citer pada ur bini...i kene sumpah for the wrong doing which created by u!..ALLAH tu tahu...i know u for almost 2 years...mungkin nampak singkat....but 2 years bukan kelip mata...so apa yang mgr, team and bebudak opis nampak tu adalah ur drama rite?...so since u tak pernah boleh jujur even to urself....please stop emailing me...if not about business...i dont want u in my life...itu doa i setiap hari...for what i want a guy yang boleh nikah dgn i tapi tak ngaku that he is married to his fren...but then buleh pulak lyn pompuan lain like girlfren in public?...since u told K Mimi that u are not people oriented...so u tak nak amik port on what happen...sbb ur otak tak der masa n tempat nak semakkan paler...so...jgn jadi bangang!!!...sesuka hati mainkan perasaan orang...ALLAH itu satu...Maha Santun...Doa dan percayaku hanya pada DIA...Ya ALLAH ku pohon dariMU lindungi aku dari manusia-manusia yang ingin menyakiti aku tanpa sebab...Amin YaRabbal Alamin....

089: PENENANG JIWA (Pengubatan & Rawatan)

Alhamdulillah, he called me already...some problem occurs...he can't online from his PC and due to that need to wait for his MIS to come back after raya...alahaiiiii...they left out the important cable in his contenna.....owhhhh...sabar jer la...

We can still connected via emails then...Alhamdulillah...
I am now reading the book that he gave me: PENENANG JIWA (Pengubatan & Rawatan) ..buku nie terjemahan dari kitab MUKASHAFAH AL QULUB ( IMAM AL-GHAZALI ). Tengah cuba memahami.

Semalam gi SOGO...xbeli apa pun....konon ingat nak beli baju...but then feeling like...xyah la kot....my baju still lawa...last year tak pakai baju tu kat umah Tok Mad pun...pakai balik jer la...lagipun i got new pareo from my kazen masa dia balik dari cuti ari tu...maybe kalau nak beli nanti i just opt very simple baju yang can match...maybe...tgk mood and masa kot...hari ni dah start kejer....need to make sure that i have enuff rest for myself...yang penting raya tahun nie di rumah tok mad...
After that SOGO pi KLCC...nak tukar battery jam...at last! and that shop is the 4th shop that i go...Alhamdulillah...settle satu lagi ....balik jer lepas mandi n rest terus tido....letih sampai paler pening. Now dah feel better....hari ni dah start kejer...next week dah nak balik kampung for raya....sekejap jer...cam mimpi lak AUGUST nie...next mth dah his birthday and mine...we share the same horoscope...selang 3 hari jer....HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR HACHI!!!...hmmm keep thinking about out last conversation....mixed feeling inside me...hmmm...malas nak pikir...let me continue reading first...BISMILLAHHIRRAHMANIRRAHIM....

Bye All...enjoy ur day okies!..Muackx...
[ tepon my abah...he is not feeling well....dah pesan my sis and adik to bwk pi klinik....Ya Allah...pelihara dan jagalah abah untukku...Minngu depan Naa balik ...Amin Yarabbal Alamin...]

088: Ya Allah Jaga dia untukku.....

My Luvly HACHI...he is now far away from me...unable to contact him and i can only wait for him to call me or talk to him when he is online...

Lega tis morning and afternoon do talk to him, he is fine n well, just sound a bit tired...he travel a lots these few days...plus worried about me....sorry yanggg...i will take care of myself...so sorry, a bit tired when u are here...i am truly sorry for that...

Now pantang "lepa" sikit jer aku tertido...today i am at Amy's place. She buat bukak posa for her close frens. Tolong her a bit but then i feel very tired...and me is sleeping like baby...so sorry my dear....hmmmm....hope all these tiredness will go tomoro...lusa dah start kejer...i'll be back to my routine and i really hope that i can cope with it again...that make me worry...dunno why sumtimes i do feel very restless...even i do eat and sleep..

Ya ALLAH, jaga dia untukku...bukakan jalanMU pada kami yang lemah ini Ya Allah...Jaga cinta ini untukku...Amin YaRabbalamin...Terima kasih sayang, tq for loves n cares...u make this nobody as someone in ur heart....

Luv,
Naa

087: Drama kat KLIA! Alahai Encek HACHI apa u buat arrr???

Thursday tu memang best...pagi lagi lepas Dr Yong melawat...Dr Yong bgtau boleh balik...just mkn ubat n rest kat umah...sbb air kencing ader bacteria....and my white cell high sikit...that caused me demam n tired like hell...okeh...that justify sbb sumtimes i sekejap2 buleh demam and tired semacam....dan kadang-kadang aku cepat lebam...whatever it is hope everything fine n well...looking for the right supplements for it....huhuhuhu...

Habih ja discharge process..Encek HACHI call bagitau...he is on the way to KL...to see ME from Kemaman....office dia need him in Labuan project...an ME is smiling la....Alhamdulillah...dapat gak aku jumpa dia sebelum dia pi...if not u need to wait another 2 mths to see him...and we will have challenges in communication....bukan boleh freely call like now...owhhhhh...

As promised, i fetch him...sampai lambat 2 hours...jammed kat KL...sanggup dia reject bila opis dia offer to book flight from Kuantan to KL...sbbnya nanti lambat...sbb the next day he will fly to Labuan...masa tunggu aku dah start pening....actually memang bdn still tak berapa best....and bila dia sampai dia la jadi mangsa...kene la jadi dreba....dapat la aku bukak posa bersama...1st time tahun nie...bersahur together also...

The next day kitorang gi KLIA dalam 12.30pm dah sampai...flight kul 3 ptg...mulanya tempat kami duduk tu jauh dari jam KLIA...

HACHI : Yanggg,...jum kita dok kat situ...nampak jam dia...kang senang i nak boarding..
Naa: Ha ahhh ok...
Masa tu jam dah 2.40pm...
HACHI: Jum yanggg...need to go...make sure that u take care....
Aku temankan dia sampai kat kaunter.
Counter Lady: Alamak encik, pintu dah close nie. Tak sempat la. Encik cuba pi kaunter hujung sana. Mungkin Encik tu boleh tolong.
Kami dah panic, alahai..cam ner nie???...
HACHI: Macam mana?...boleh tak i masuk lagi nie?.
Counter Guy: Kejap yer...( dia cuba call but the other side tak angkat, keep trying several times...) Alamak...diorang tak angkat la bang. Abang kene naik flight kul 5.30 pm atau pagi esok yang straight pi Labuan. Kalau yang 5.30pm abang punya Labuan flight is tomoro at 7 am.
HACHI: Memang tak leh dah ker...xper la...let me call my opis first.
Dia pun call la opismate dia yang tolong book kan ticket...ayat takleh blah...
Hello XXXX, alamak ada problem sikit...tapi u calm down,..buleh settle nie..whatever iit is...so sorry aku tertido...sekali diorang ckp dah takleh masuk sebab pintu dah tutup. So the latest that i can go is 5.30 pm but then only by tomoro morning around 7 am baru ada flight pi Labuan. Or another option is flight straight to Labuan but will be at tomoro morning 9 am. So what's ur opinion then?..
Then kitorang gegas gi MAS counter...elok lepas jer dia settle dia pusing kat anak Tok Mad dgn senyum manis, dan senyum ituuu...owwwwwwwwwhhhh...
Naa: Yanggg, u purposely aite???...
HACHI: Hahahahahaahha....i have another 2 hours with u yanggg...

Macam tak percaya. All those takleh masuk flight adalah atas keSENGAJAan dia untuk spend masa dengan aku....hahahahhahahahahahah...and due to that he paid RM100 for the
fine. BUT he is smiling like nobody business and that is really make my day!...

Hahahahahahahaha....tak sangka kan yanggg???....eheksss...tq very much...actually he planned everything starts from he reached Kemaman. Just to see me!...Luv u!!!...hahahahaha...and the BYE turn to be SMILES....sebab he left me with a SURPRISES....

*TQ so much for the present...

086: Haipppp lapo arrrr

Still kat SJMC...dah stop drip tadi...tangan tak sakit lagi...legaaaa...dah jumpa dr gak..Alhamdulillah...sgt happy with the results...everything good n well...tapi dr tak amik remeh have to check urine lak....alaaaaaaa...dah bosan!!!..tadi dah tepon my abah and mak...dah bgtau...juga my kakak n abang....legaaaaaa....jgn risau2...ramai orang jaga Achik kat sini...

Ni dok lapaq...pagi tadi xleh lena mata gatai tgk Jalan-Jalan cari mkn...owhhhhhhh...lapaqnya terkenang semua tu...erk???...sorry...bila kat spital...bila posa mcm2 la dok terbayang...nanti dah sihat nak masak asam pedas ikan terubuk or parang....then bwk kat opis berbuka dgn all my berbuka-mate. Sedapnyerr..meleleh ayaq liuq tingat!!!

Hati tingin nak mkn mcm2......nak bakso, nak mihun soto, sup tulang (yang tok mad n my mum msk sama-sama yer, terubuk bakar, asam pedas, pajeri terung mak, mihun grg dgn kari ayam pun ok gak, kerapu stim, sambal sotong kak ros...owhhhhh lapaaaaaaaaqqqqqqqq

085: Hmmm...

Terbangun dari 2.30 pg tadi lepas lena yang panjang...drip yang ke3..semlm a bit sad...My HACHI have to go again....as expected...cant visit me here...i know he is in deep sadness...keep salahkan diri dia sbb tak sempat nak jumpa me walau sekejap...please dont be sayang, i truly understand ur kejer....go with open hearted...i loves u the way u are...not because u cant visit me my loves is less for u...u are trying very hard for that...it is fated that way...sebagai hamba, berdoalah sayang agar DIA bukakan jalannya untuk kita....bukan tangisan sesal atau sedih...jangan!...

Tadi call K Teh...K Teh bagitau...my abah so happy i am coming back baru-baru nie...terharu betul rasa hati sakit2 mcm nie....Abah siap bagitau dr tu...hati seronok anak saya hat dok kolumpo tu balik antaq saya mai klinik...dan sungguh aku tak tahan untuk tak menangis....Ya Allah syukur....he know i loves him very much!...and tak sampai hati nak bgtau my sister i am in hopsital right now...siap tanya dah sahur ker???...tak arrr...dr tak bg posa nie...ehekss....tak pa la...kejer elok2 no....after the call i sambung nangis....terharu dengan apa yang jadi....My HACHI masih sedih....risau dia dgn what happen to me...i feel that...ALLAH itu jaga i sayang...doa pada DIA i cepat sembuh....for all my frens yang datang melawat...terima kasih....yang posting kat FB, terima kasih...yang doakan i...terima kasih dari bukan sesiapa ini...

[jangan salah sangka yang i inginkan simpati...tidak juga untk menunjuk-nunjuk baik...tidak sekali..blog ini adalah luahan rasa hati seorang Naa Ahmad...that is truly me seorang yang bukan sesiapa pun....]

084: Updates dari SJMC....

Hmmm....semalam ingat nak ignore jer referral letter yang dr bg last Friday....that time my mind is just about my Tok Mad...he is sick...and i am driving back to Kedah once my K Teh called and telling me Tok Mad not feeling well...tak yah la bgtau kat depa...depa tu asyik buat abah marah jer...erk....tak setuju bukan tak sayang abah...never....it is just that y abah very sensitive after he been striked by the heart attack...and aku jugak menangis bila dia salah ertikan pendapat aku...sedikit merajuk...dah la dari kecik aku memang besar di asrama jer...habih jer belajar...sakit masa tu...bawak diri ke Tanjung Puteri nuuuuu....then baru 3 tahun aku dok KL...dekat sikit....


Then sejak rezeki tu lebih sikit...almost every mth aku balik tgk mak dan abah...selagi diorg masih ada...apa sgt la letih driving jika itu dapat happykan diorang...that is me...dan bila kakak aku kata abah tak sihat and dia majuk kat aku...tergenang air mata...Ya Allah....i cant imagine myself takleh cium him...hug him...n sumtimes i do sleep besides him masa tgk tv...aku balik jugak...tertido few times masa driving...berdoa Allah akan menjaga aku...DIA tahu niatku...dan alhamdulillah perjalanan itu dipermudahkanNya...

Sampai di umah Tok Mad...aku terus masuk bilik tido...esok bila hari dah cerah mak and abah terkejut...aku terbangun...dan masa salam dgn abah dia peluk aku...hmmmm...and terleleh jugak air mata degil dan majuk aku pada abah....and aku bawak dia gi klinik...mcm yang aku selalu buat bila aku balik...hold him...he is really affrected by that heart attack strikes...and aku kene redha...my father not young anymore...MATI itu sesuatu yang pasti....sebagai anak aku harap aku akan ada sebelah my abah and mak...and even if takdirnya aku takleh ada kat situ pun...aku harap sangat ALLAH akan sentiasa jaga diorang untuk aku....selagi ada daya aku akan cuba jadi terbaik...so sekarang kalau mak dan abah marah atau sensitif aku hanya diam...kalau diorang boleh bersabar dgn panas baran aku...kenapa aku tak leh sabar dengan depa...selagi ALLAH masih pinjamkan depa untuk kami....


Hmmm sorry...a bit jauh dari tajuk....sebenarnya nak citer tadi mak n abah call...maafkan Naa rahsiakan pasal Naa masuk hospital...not that i ignore their right...no...never crossed my mind...i cant opt to hear my abah n mak risau n sakit because worry about me...so i am pretending that i am ok...abah was so happy to tell me that batu dlm hempedu dia dah kurang dua [ masa bwk dia pi klinik, dr nampak ada 4 batu dlm hempedu abah...sbb tu dia rasa senak ]. Alhamdulillah...n he is happy to talk to me about that...keep asking when i am coming back...and i smiles...hilang rasa risau pada apa yang aku alami...ini hikmah terindah Ramadhan ini....Alhamdulillah...Syukur aku padaMU Ya Allah Ya Rahman...Cant wait to balik raya n my cuti ben approved...hoyeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Ehhh belum abis lagik....

Kejadian berlaku dekat lift nak turun ke SJMC new parking space....seorang budak pompuan sweet berbaju kurung khusyuk dok dengar aku dok sembang dgn Cik Amy. Ohh yaaa...that budak pompuan penjaga lift...i just smile to her..tak tau la dia pasan ker tak...ehekss....innocent dgn muka letih posa dia...

Cik Amy : Ishhhh...bagitau la lift tu dah bukak...ishhh...buat kejer cam ner nie...bla bla bla bla...

Cik Naa: Sabar Cik Amy, dia puasa tu...tak sengaja tue yanggg...

Cik Amy: Alah....dah namanyer kejer kan..kene la buat betul2...apa salah bgtau...bla bla bla...

[ maafkan dia mood dia tak baik sgt ari nie...tapi dia nie baik ati sebenarnya....sangat baik ati..]

Cik Naa: Kalau dia tu pandai Cik Amy dah lama dia jadi SERVICE BANKER..{Cik Naa senyum..hahahahaha}

Cik Amy: Amboiiii hina kejer cheq nooo... {muka dok ketat lagi noooo}

Cik Naa: Bukan Cik Naa hina...apa Cik Naa maksudkan is...dia tu SPM level jer yang...kita yang belajar tinggi ni patut syukur...sebab tu kita lebih paham...
Cik Amy tengok muka Cik Naa...lama sikit dia gelak...eheksss...she got the message...so erti kata mudah...semua orang di dunia nie ada watak dia masing-masing....cam tu la kirenyerrrrrr....

Cik Naa tak posa....so jangan lak korang berbuka sekarang okeh....muacksss...for all i luv...My HACHI dok ngamuk...he need to back to work tomoro...and leaving ME another 2 mths....and he keeps grumble...i know he worried about me...No worries..i am in good hands...rest assured i'll be fine n well here....i know that it is not ur fault u cant be with ME...ALLAH menduga pada orang yang mampu...InsyaALLAH i am one of that somebody...u no need to be someone else to loves me...be ur self...

083: i have no words....but u really know that....

HACHI...he is my luvly...

He is being there for ME, when i am drowning in my sadness, when i laugh, when i LOST...in everything of ME....so hard to describe, he is the other part of ME without i noticed....he protects me in his way....and ME is feeling comfy....and TENANG itu hadiah dariNYA...even he is not besides ME...

If it is fated that by any means i can't own u...[ we never know what ALLAH will decides for us in future...we always think that when we loves that somebody that person should be ours...but have we ever thinks that sumtimes ALLAH cuma pinjamkan dia untuk kita?..] I am grateful enuff to ALLAH that u loves me that much....ur cares towards me...ur tears to me...ur worries towards me....i have nothing to offer other than my truly heart to u...loving u is one of the best thing that i have....not because i want u for my LUST...no....This LOVES is given by ALLAH to me...and it keeps stronger inside ME...

My dear...i know that u are worry...u will leave me again....and i have no afraid of it...because u are part of me...u are there..deep in my heart....and if ALLAH takes my breath away right now...believe me i am grateful enuff to have ur loves....Ya ALLAH bukakanlah jalannya untukku dan dia kalau itu takdirMU...dan sampaikan salam cintaku pada dia dalam hikmah ketenangan ini......

[ Kisah pahit itu telah berlalu, biarlah difitnah seribu cerita...hampir dua tahun bukan kisah rekaan...mereka menjadi saksi...DIA juga tahu segala dusta yang ditaburi...diam bukan bermakna aku terima segala apa yang berlaku dengan rela...tapi percayalah kalau kebenaran terbuka ia akan melukai insan lain dengan hebat...dan aku tak ingin itu terjadi...kerana si dia tidak pernah tahu....dan terfitnahlah aku oleh insan yang entah apa niatnya......kenapa hipokrit?...kalau benar tulus kasih itu..berterus teranglah.....MAAF itu TIDAK dariku....kerana hatimu sangat KEJAM, menafikan dusta yang ditabur....dan demi dirimu engkau letak tuba padaku....Ya ALLAH wahai Pemilik Segala Isi Langit dan Bumi...Engkau Maha Melihat, Maha Mengetahui...biarlah didoa seribu keburukan sekalipun....Aku hanya mampu memohon padaMU...Percaya padaMU Engkau akan menjagaku.....Dan aku percaya penuh padaMU, kenapa aku yang terpilih untuk ujian ini...Engkau Yang lebih tahu....Amin Yarabbalamin...]

082: Tiada lagi entry 77

Hari ini aku deletekan entry 77...entry yang telah membuka kebenaran pada seorang isteri...

Terima kasih pada email yang aku terima tadi...Syukur...Allah bukakan jalan penyelesaiannya....pergilah mencari cinta yang hilang antara kalian...aku bukan sesiapa...Allah itu tahu niatku dan dalam aku diuji dengan kesakitan ini dia bukakan jalan penyelesaian padaku...Syukur Ya Allah...

Aku telah kembalikan sesuatu yang hilang antara mereka.....Moga Allah kekalkan jodoh mereka hingga akhir hayat...Benar aku telah terluka...namun aku redha...ini ujian dia pada insan yang bernama Naa....Terima Kasih Allah kerana engkau tak butakan hati ini untuk menjadi kejam...terima kasih juga atas sayang yang Engkau limpahkan padaku....

Aku menangis kali ini bukan kerana sedih...tapi kerana syukur...Atas pintu hikmah yang Engkau bukakan....Alhamdulillah...

Pintaku Engkau bukakanlah pintu KasihMU padaku....Amin Yarrabalamin...Moga Ramadhan ini tanda mulanya chapter baru dalam hidupku.....

[telepon abah n mak...Alhamdulillah mereka sihat...]
[buat sahabat yang aku sayang, terima kasih...]